I'm very fond of my solitude of late. I'm still delighted to be seeing people, and still probably spend far too much time with them, and certainly not enough studying (I found out today that I failed a chemistry test I had felt really confident about. I don't know what happened). But I'm equally happy lately to just sit on my bed with a book or my ukulele or my laptop and play by myself. Everyone's been ill and though we're mostly recovered, the energy's still low. Lonely is nice, you know?
So. Mubarak will not stand down. He promised. Well, you fool. What do you intend to achieve by this? I've been watching the live English-language stream of the arabic news station here.
Today as English was ending I got very dizzy, and started feeling very cold, and crying. I think I was just very stressed, and hadn't eaten much... one of my friends was really sick this week, and I was very worried about her for a while. I guess the tension just built up. It was just my teacher at that point, and I was incredibly embarrassed, but she was so kind to me. She went and fetched the Brit Lit teacher, and they talked to me about the difficulties of teaching Dickens, and how failing chem tests doesn't matter, until the nurse came and brought me back to the dorms. My teacher lent me her gloves, and he had a KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON mug of tea with him that made me very happy. Then I had a nice cry with my maytag model, who's been awfully kind to me, and went to bed for an hour. I think this might have been the first time I've cried since I've been here. My brother just turned six. I feel very, very old, and exactly six years ago today, I was crying in a delivery room as he was born.
There's no play rehearsal tonight, and I'm glad I shan't miss it. I'm off book, but still need a lot of work. The performance is on the 19th of March.
So, I joined LookBook. Here are the pictures I've put up so far... I've gotten some nice attention, and it's a vrey nice online community - though it's basically the vanity of facebook crystallized in photo form... people saying "Tell me how pretty I am," but very interesting and entertaining. I've never looked great in photographs, which is why I usually take them instead, so it's a fun editing challenge for me.